My comments are in red.  At the bottom beginning with Couch - are also my notes. –

I walked in the door about an hour ago and I went straight to my computer to write this.  Please take it in the spirit in which I’m writing.  I so want your show to work and I want it to work on so many levels.

You know I’ve thought your SEVEN SPOTS has the potential for greatness, so you might imagine the sinking feeling I had yesterday as judges brought me their ballots for tabulation.  Then, I spoke with each one of them, and for the most part I had to agree.

So, the show I saw yesterday was, for me, a very different show from what I was mesmerized by at District.  Yesterday’s house had much to do with that.  I did not, and could not understand your actors. At this point, I think it is too late to change from accent to standard English. Also, many of the words, phrases are in Spanish.  I fear that the actor might be mixed up and continue lines in the accent.  I will let the actors vote on this as I believe strongly in a team approach. This said, it might mean that lines are taken away from some actors – they will still act, but lines may be reduced.  Also, without the beautiful, isolating, and illuminating lighting, it didn’t have an all-together feel yesterday.  The Moyers installed the lighting system that is used in Estacado.  They are going to train Matthew and Greg on how to use it.  It is not illegal if we do this at another site other than Estacado.

More importantly, let me address what the judges concerns were and then share some of my own.  Of tantamount importance is clarity/understandability/intelligibility of the dialogue.  Your judges blame it on the latin accent.  I don’t.  So here’s your first dilemma.  At least two of your judges said to get rid of the accents all together.  I do not agree.  The latin accents and the flavor and melody and transportive power they provide are, in my mind, absolutely necessary.  So, I ask myself this question.  If I were to go to Dallas Theatre Center, or The Alley Theatre, or any regional or off broadway theatre to see SEVEN SPOTS, would I expect to hear latin accents?  Dang right I would. In my own experience, can I imagine doing BIEDERMANN AND THE FIREBUGS without German; HENRY LUMPER without Boston/North Eastern; JOURNEY TO JEFFERSON with not just country, or southern but Appalachian?  NO, I cannot imagine those worlds and I would not be easily transported to those worlds without the accents.  Just getting rid of the accents in my mind is a cop out.

So the problem SEVEN SPOTS faces is your actors not living up to what’s required—indeed demanded.  Every syllable of every word MUST be sounded/isolated and end consonants cannot, cannot be ignored.  It’s time for 1st grade reading circle on the floor of your classroom with every word of the play practiced.  Your actors, like mine did, have to realize that spoken dialogue does not just happen instinctively.  It is work—W.O.R.K.—grinding, tedious work.   There is passion behind every word and passion requires “way beyond normal utterances” W.O.R.K.  Attention must be given—to every syllable of every word with appropriate passion backing it up.  It cannot be taken for granted.

Another concern that I share is the “busy" business of your townspeople.  In so many places, I felt it was just “business” for business sake—and business that really does not tell the story of the townspeople’s lives in regard to where their souls are now, where they are going, and where they want to be.  So, consider this.  

On the opening, finally, finally “music” is restored and we hear it broadcast on the radio and the town erupts into dancing celebration.  In my mind, that immediately transports me to a moment that is “outside” their lives (and outside of the story of SEVEN SPOTS) and thus not unique to SEVEN SPOTS.  I return to comments I’ve made earlier.  Civil war takes away one’s ability to trust others—to trust anyone.  It diminishes any hope for the future. The effects of civil war lives long in hearts and minds—it affects their present and their future.  For me, that opening moment should be about townspeople trying to find “joy” in a moment, but because of the past, they just can’t get to joyous moments. It’s their struggle.  Their faces, their bodies, their actions should communicate mistrust/foreboding uncertainty/wariness.  They, in many ways have forgotten how to be joyful, how to live without fear and mistrust. And indeed, just moments later when the radio is smashed to bits, they are painfully left to their isolated lonely existence.  This is beyond me – UNLESS – not every line is joyous.  Some dance joyfully, but not all at once.  Some enter tentatively to dance.

TOWN 1	They’d repaired the power lines the week before.
TOWN 2	So Alamar looked for a radio.
TOWN 3	… to replace the one the army smashed.

These lines above nor the ones below do not necessarily imply joy.

TOWN 7	For eighteen months
TOWN 8	Without radio
TOWN 1	Eighteen months
TOWN 2	Of daily battle
TOWN 3	With my darkest thoughts… Perhaps a tentative dance.
TOWN 4	I dance
TOWN 7	Till you’ve purged the WAR
TOWN 8	From every pore
Alamar & Wilmer	Every ONE of us DANCES!

In transition times, the constant “swimming” gestures and movements of the townspeople was not only distracting, but took my focus away from where it should be.Lou is thinking about weird movements – not swimming – jerky kinky twisted hand movements.  Again, think about those people left in isolation, hopeless solitude, confinement.  Even at the end of Luis’ and Monica’s scene where Moises and Belen are in the field hospital in their bloody jackets, the “business” of Moises and Belen took my focus away from Luis and Monica.  I understand what you are doing there…we must be made aware of their efforts, but they cannot distract.  More important to me is Moises/Belen’s relationship and less on what they are doing.  A few other places in your story where townspeople were swimming to a new place on the stage was distracting.  I’d much rather see and experience their aloneness/their solitude/their beleaguerment.  People are wanting to be happy, but it’s hard.

OK, now to some practical issues.  Luis and Monica are playing their scenes too much profile which means their faces/mouths are not facing the audience.  Think about staging them on diagonals from each other.  And speaking of Monica, her passion was just not there yesterday…from the moment of the gifted washing machine to the grave illness of her baby.  Another practical issue..Belen’s appearance to Moises.  She was just too busy and Moises was not shocked, and I mean shocked and made uncertain, and made emotional by this visit from the grave.  (Visions of Ghosts of Christmas Past’s intruding visits to Ebeneezer Scrooge come to mind).

Also, of great concern were the flashbacks.  Is there something you can do to make those more clear?  The flashbacks MUST be Blue – they MUST have dripping water underneath them.  The only alternative is fog – we can’t afford the ice and I think the oil based fog would kill the kids and director who has asthma.  When DC had their oil based fog, I was choking and I know that Riley had a hard time.  I think Kate M has asthma.  That is an easy solution. I don’t know.  Like all of a sudden some force.some dynamic power…something wafts, and whirls, and whisks us back. Could the townspeople do this?

I really do not like your new ending.  It for me is generic—not unique to your story—an easy way to end this and a multitude of other one-act plays.  As for Moises, how in the world can a recluse who would not allow himself to look at a patient go from that to allowing himself ultimately to be placed on a pedestal and idolized?   Yes, I know Latin American Catholicism employs a grab bag of mystical and mythical idolization  but I am more interested in a still mourning Moises’ finding his own redemption.I agree with Lou on this – YET it must be dynamic.

OK.  Enough of this.  I’ve probably said more that I should, but your play was on my way the entire trip home from Amarillo.

I love you and your kids.    I want nothing more than the opportunity for this story to be shared with so many more on it journeys on.

PS.  I stayed and watched Canyon Randal’s phenomenal show, Leopold and Loeb.  IF you do an advancers clinic, Cy wants to come to Shallowater.  And, IF this happens, your kids MUST see this show!

Sent from my iPhone

THIS IS COUCH – RED INK IS TOO EXPENSIVE -NOW, in the judges’ critiques,

NUMBER ONE – Diction, - some lines were too similar in pacing

#2 some of the women’s voices were too shrill;

People who were harder to understand – Luis, Moises, Belen.

More moments on I lied – heavy guitar strum and a beat before I lied as well as a beat after on each one.

#3. Chorus needed to be crisper in movement.

Focus: I struggled today with focus and where to look.

I need a difference in real time and flashbacks. There needs to be clarity.

It was too busy at times with chorus.

There was not enough commitment to emotional context with everyone.

More vocal variety needed.

Moises and Belen need to work on layers and development

Eugenio and Moises work on layers of your relationship.

Never saw the abuse from Luis grow. It just happened.

Moments were rushed.

Next contest – Judges are – head judge who gives the acting awards. Kathy Love – Harvey – She is big on diction, but also focus.  She didn’t send Gut Girls on.

Lynae Jacob – she told this to everyone – be careful to keep the freshness and the first time feeling as you progress. Be careful about picking up each other’s rhythm or vocal patterns. This happens to groups who have been working together for too long.

Trip Langley – from California – I know nothing about him.