April 1 night

April 1
Everyone	No one knew he had this power – diction and louder.
Town	Purge the wart – diction When Eugenio says God’s hand – town needs to have hands up. Moises and Belen emerge – THIS MUST BE DELIVERED URGENTLY QUIET when Monica says fruit draws flies. During screams – townspeople need to vary directions. People noises at church when child has been healed. Town is still clumped. Stephen on ladder – don below, ramzi back – Tre move people. Kaytlyn – DO NOT play with doll during healing when you are more right stage. Within a week – I want all these lines to crescendo to Carter’s lines – rework today.
Music	Static HAS to be DOWN MUSIC needs to be UP and DOWN
Lights	More light on soldiers getting Belen and Ramzi – not much, but a little.
Alamar	Instructions – you want to dance - Diction
Luis	Today they did Surprise for you Not my Monica Good on sliced line – remember this – voice and everything was good – you were facing the audience. Kneeling – slower – see pull from gut.
Kaytlyn	War cost her -Pitch
Eugenio	God’s hand – diction volume Nuns line – no heart in it Watch pitch screaming  line Moises heals hundreds of children.  I expect to be jolted out of this dream, but he lays his open PALM on each child …makes the boils fizzle and I BEAT am astonished. urgent.
Guitar	In transition – Luis we had to do it to church. – when kids have been healed. Need guitar during the transition when Monica says – has no name. Healer stumbled.- start with Sargento.
Monica	Apron returning from work
Hannah	Leaves his mark - louder
Belen	We have to help him.  THIS IS URGENT.  You are not showing that you care for this kid. Altar – more reverent picking up altar stuff and putting it down. See in your head – puts on the gas. Why – must be louder - gutwrenching
Monica and Luis	Work on dashing babies.  Move downstage.
Moises	School boy – great delivery. Recovering from why wasn’t as good as it was during performance. Don’t do wiggle hands with Eugenio
Breck	Freeze on Belen’s line speaking about deaths –on gas No flashing light – but I like it on the door.
Belen and Moises	We need to see solidarity when Moises decides to help Belen help the boy.
Door people	Door moves like windows. When Luis hits the door – Wilmer has her hand out – want Breck to do the same thing.
Alee, Eugenio, Moises	THE KIDS ARE 8 & 6.

March 30 notes

Everybody	Shorter static  AND MUSIC – REHEARSE BEFORE SHOW Steps are louder than the board in oy
Town	Freezing was good Hannah – holding hands over ears? Kate’s movements were bigger than everyone’s.Be as big as she is. Remember you are in a box – feeling around with popping movements. Kaytlyn - perfect Don – first time I’ve lost innocente line Fighting is fierce – Tre & Kaytlyn turn with Kate Still a semi circle with ramzi Frames – kate and marinda need to be different People noises at the beginning of the scene when it’s discovered that Moises has healed the child. Town is clumped with second healing Within a week – this is exciting – voices should reflect this.  Step on lines – Sargento – Kaytlyn – don’t play with doll.
Belen	BELEN< REACT VOCALLY AND PHYSICALLY EACH TIME RAMZI SCREAMS Lovers skin to the audience Straighten up as ghost belen – more confidence .
Moises	Blow both of our heads – louder slowly Why – best recovery Look at Belen at the end.
Eugenio	For what war cost – diction & louder Raped nuns – think about this line Stumbling – I want to see you stumbling  - why did you stumble – not beleiveable Some kind of fever – don’t speak upstage Within a week scene – more excited and faster.
Luis	Smoochy – cannot hear Long story short – head up DO NOT STAND BEHIND THE WASHER AND THE CHAIR.  THE CHAIR IS BETWEEN YOU AND COOPER AND THE AUDIENCE. You are getting mad too quickly. Don’t lick belen’s leg today – students are too immature and they won’t listen to anything else the rest of the play.   Wake up with people noises Chair is in the way. In last scene with Monica – move lavadora downstage Don’t hit Moises so much – choose ONCE Don’t breathe during the scene before yours and Monica’s last scene.  I am not – upstage hand. Make my own miracles – did not hear I am putting a big x on the stage where you should be in both scenes DOWN STAGE CENTer
Monica	When do we get started – cannot hear I see my husband’s hand – not accent.
guitar	No guitar during Belen being carried away.
Mrs. Escobar	Sloppy start – think we fixed it Priest mumbling on bench. Belen – at least I will know Munson – Sargento Eli – hijo Moises – ask Ms. E Colin – distraught listening to priest
Taylor	Try yellow light on Belen being shocked.

Area instructions

Please send to parents.   If I've done this already, please disregard.

Tuesday - load trailer during class period.

Wednesday - Students will be in my room at 12:45 (advisory) and we leave at1:05  - my class period.  We will return about 3:30-3:45 on Wednesday.

Thursday - students will come to my room at 8AM.  We will begin contour.  Please have student actors in base and eyeliner before arriving. Characters who need age makeup, please come to school earlier.   The directors' meeting is at 9AM.   Students will drive to Estacado with someone -TBA - 10:30.  We should go on at eleven.  We will return after loading trailer.  Students will have 45 minutes to change into awards' dress.  Shows should be concluded by 5 with awards and critiques to follow. The Denver City audience reacted badly - showing excessive celebrating (like football).  We have to keep in mind that three schools will leave this journey.   Our kids are great.  We've made a lot of important changes.  The kids have worked so hard. I hope that we continue to regionals.

Rambo's notes. I divided his notes up then listed all of them following chart so you could see the time frame

;

Everyone	Beautiful visual and detailed set dressing; watch upper pitches although nicely excited; excellent depth of scenery pieces; Cast: very committed and lots of careful aliveness on stage; Cast needs to watch enunciation particularly when turning 1/4 and 1/2 to speak to fellow actors; You need to concentrate on fewer higher pitches more in very emotional moments--working on building pitch levels and allowing a mid-range pitch and lower pitches to surprise more often than using volume and upper pitches. Great company and excellent directing; allow more whole-body stylization with differing sways and stronger arms when whole body is peaking emotionally.
Town	Allow all parts of body to move at a differing rhythm in opening; Group speaking needs a little more crispness; Company: watch muscularity of arm extensions: build on that- need variation and weirdness Avoid semicircle company stage left during Ramzi scene- you did break it however, good adjustment Window: how to evolve with window: more ritualistic perhaps, perhaps more stylize like arms and angled or held up higher those who are able to hold; Door was a little awkward on entrance, let it express the emotional undertones; I tend to watch company rather than table work with Moises, watch isolation of face motions; Lights on crowd: same as stage left scene with Priest and Moises was distractive; During healing scene, we need to move town – suggestions?  Especially those left stage. Awkward cross fade from Luis and Monica and crowd -work on transition there Excellent costuming and prop usage with Townspeople; Black head covering company member: nicely articulated and blue headband: ends of phrases were very certain; This was Kate.  Everyone needs to end sentences as loudly as you begin them. Company as you sway, be sure you move differently than left hip to right hip a little too often; Timing on Shock: first one was off;
Music	Sound level is pretty loud for clear projection of voices particularly because of the dialect Music: stunning just too loud when text is spoken, in my opinion
Moises	Moises:  crashing radio had nice muscularity and follow through; Moises: nice connection with Priest when he enters your home; Moises: good taking toward Priest; Boy was healed: Moses: the hand motion upward needs more of a question than answer to what you see; Moises: going down emotionally from stomach that pulls you to ground k ending up on knees; scene change was flat which was good emotionally but nothing to focus on when  Moises crosses up to get bucket; Moises: watch your spine pull up more naturally; Every child is healed: more ritualistic getting up on table, and more realistic on full body turn
Belen	;; Belen: more lower pitches when excited so as to avoid strain, good rate variation; ; Belen: slight shifting weight from side to side- don’t sway Nice illusion of Belen's in blue costume;
Monica	Monica: nice clear words stage right in scene; Monica: good look of pregnancy;
Luis	Luis: nicely played reason to enter; nice rise and fall with washer; Luis: watch ends of phrases somewhat Luis: good safety but good muscularity with Monica; Luis: we had to: decision to tell her this: needs more depth;
Eugenio	Priest: excellent physicality but needs somewhat crisper enunciation Priest: stumbling: not believable; Priest: better facial aliveness with Moises after Luis; Priest: watch facial illusion and use breathing and neck movements also to show reaction more;
Moises & Belen	Belen and Moises: nicely blocked and turned out;
Lights -Matthew	Awkward cross fade from Luis and Monica and crowd:

Allow all parts of body to move at a differing rhythm in opening; Beautiful visual and detailed set dressing; Sound level is pretty loud for clear projection of voices particularly because of the dialect; watch upper pitches although nicely excited; Monica: nice clear words stage right in scene; Luis: nicely played reason to enter; nice rise and fall with washer; Luis: watch ends of phrases somewhat; excellent depth of scenery pieces; Group speaking needs a little more crispness; Moises:  crashing radio had nice muscularity and follow through; Priest: excellent physicality but needs somewhat crisper enunciation; Belen: more lower pitches when excited so as to avoid strain, good rate variation; Music: stunning just too loud when text is spoken, in my opinion; Belen: slight shifting weight from side to side; Belen and Moises: nicely blocked and turned out; Company: watch muscularity of arm extensions: build on that; Avoid semicircle company stage left: you did break it however, good adjustment; Window: how to evolve with window: more ritualistic perhaps, perhaps more stylize like arms and angled or held up higher those who are able to hold; Door was a little awkward on entrance, let it express the emotional undertones; Priest: stumbling: not believable; Monica: good look of pregnancy; Luis: good safety but good muscularity with Monica; Nice illusion of Belen's in blue costume; Moises: nice connection with Priest when he enters your home; Moises: good taking toward Priest; Priest: watch facial illusion and use breathing and neck movements also to show reaction more; Luis: we had to: decision to tell her this: needs more depth; I tend to watch company rather than table work with Moises, watch isolation of face motions; Lights on crowd: same as stage left scene with Priest and Moises was distractive; Boy was healed: Moses: the hand motion upward needs more of a question than answer to what you see; Awkward cross fade from Luis and Monica and crowd: Excellent costuming and prop usage with Townspeople; Black head covering company member: nicely articulated and blue headband: ends of phrases were very certain; Company as you sway, be sure you move differently than left hip to right hip a little too often; Timing on Shock: first one was off; Moises: going down emotionally from stomach that pulls you to ground k ending up on knees; scene change was flat which was good emotionally but nothing to focus on when  Moises crosses up to get bucket; Moises: watch your spine pull up more naturally; Priest: better facial aliveness with Moises after Luis; Every child is healed: more ritualistic getting up on table, and more realistic on full body turn; Cast: very committed and lots of careful aliveness on stage; Cast needs to watch enunciation particularly when turning 1/4 and 1/2 to speak to fellow actors; You need to concentrate on fewer higher pitches more in very emotional moments--working on building pitch levels and allowing a mid-range pitch and lower pitches to surprise more often than using volume and upper pitches. Great company and excellent directing; allow more whole-body stylization with differing sways and stronger arms when whole body is peaking emotionally.

My comments are in red.  At the bottom beginning with Couch - are also my notes. –

I walked in the door about an hour ago and I went straight to my computer to write this.  Please take it in the spirit in which I’m writing.  I so want your show to work and I want it to work on so many levels.

You know I’ve thought your SEVEN SPOTS has the potential for greatness, so you might imagine the sinking feeling I had yesterday as judges brought me their ballots for tabulation.  Then, I spoke with each one of them, and for the most part I had to agree.

So, the show I saw yesterday was, for me, a very different show from what I was mesmerized by at District.  Yesterday’s house had much to do with that.  I did not, and could not understand your actors. At this point, I think it is too late to change from accent to standard English. Also, many of the words, phrases are in Spanish.  I fear that the actor might be mixed up and continue lines in the accent.  I will let the actors vote on this as I believe strongly in a team approach. This said, it might mean that lines are taken away from some actors – they will still act, but lines may be reduced.  Also, without the beautiful, isolating, and illuminating lighting, it didn’t have an all-together feel yesterday.  The Moyers installed the lighting system that is used in Estacado.  They are going to train Matthew and Greg on how to use it.  It is not illegal if we do this at another site other than Estacado.

More importantly, let me address what the judges concerns were and then share some of my own.  Of tantamount importance is clarity/understandability/intelligibility of the dialogue.  Your judges blame it on the latin accent.  I don’t.  So here’s your first dilemma.  At least two of your judges said to get rid of the accents all together.  I do not agree.  The latin accents and the flavor and melody and transportive power they provide are, in my mind, absolutely necessary.  So, I ask myself this question.  If I were to go to Dallas Theatre Center, or The Alley Theatre, or any regional or off broadway theatre to see SEVEN SPOTS, would I expect to hear latin accents?  Dang right I would. In my own experience, can I imagine doing BIEDERMANN AND THE FIREBUGS without German; HENRY LUMPER without Boston/North Eastern; JOURNEY TO JEFFERSON with not just country, or southern but Appalachian?  NO, I cannot imagine those worlds and I would not be easily transported to those worlds without the accents.  Just getting rid of the accents in my mind is a cop out.

So the problem SEVEN SPOTS faces is your actors not living up to what’s required—indeed demanded.  Every syllable of every word MUST be sounded/isolated and end consonants cannot, cannot be ignored.  It’s time for 1st grade reading circle on the floor of your classroom with every word of the play practiced.  Your actors, like mine did, have to realize that spoken dialogue does not just happen instinctively.  It is work—W.O.R.K.—grinding, tedious work.   There is passion behind every word and passion requires “way beyond normal utterances” W.O.R.K.  Attention must be given—to every syllable of every word with appropriate passion backing it up.  It cannot be taken for granted.

Another concern that I share is the “busy" business of your townspeople.  In so many places, I felt it was just “business” for business sake—and business that really does not tell the story of the townspeople’s lives in regard to where their souls are now, where they are going, and where they want to be.  So, consider this.  

On the opening, finally, finally “music” is restored and we hear it broadcast on the radio and the town erupts into dancing celebration.  In my mind, that immediately transports me to a moment that is “outside” their lives (and outside of the story of SEVEN SPOTS) and thus not unique to SEVEN SPOTS.  I return to comments I’ve made earlier.  Civil war takes away one’s ability to trust others—to trust anyone.  It diminishes any hope for the future. The effects of civil war lives long in hearts and minds—it affects their present and their future.  For me, that opening moment should be about townspeople trying to find “joy” in a moment, but because of the past, they just can’t get to joyous moments. It’s their struggle.  Their faces, their bodies, their actions should communicate mistrust/foreboding uncertainty/wariness.  They, in many ways have forgotten how to be joyful, how to live without fear and mistrust. And indeed, just moments later when the radio is smashed to bits, they are painfully left to their isolated lonely existence.  This is beyond me – UNLESS – not every line is joyous.  Some dance joyfully, but not all at once.  Some enter tentatively to dance.

TOWN 1	They’d repaired the power lines the week before.
TOWN 2	So Alamar looked for a radio.
TOWN 3	… to replace the one the army smashed.

These lines above nor the ones below do not necessarily imply joy.

TOWN 7	For eighteen months
TOWN 8	Without radio
TOWN 1	Eighteen months
TOWN 2	Of daily battle
TOWN 3	With my darkest thoughts… Perhaps a tentative dance.
TOWN 4	I dance
TOWN 7	Till you’ve purged the WAR
TOWN 8	From every pore
Alamar & Wilmer	Every ONE of us DANCES!

In transition times, the constant “swimming” gestures and movements of the townspeople was not only distracting, but took my focus away from where it should be.Lou is thinking about weird movements – not swimming – jerky kinky twisted hand movements.  Again, think about those people left in isolation, hopeless solitude, confinement.  Even at the end of Luis’ and Monica’s scene where Moises and Belen are in the field hospital in their bloody jackets, the “business” of Moises and Belen took my focus away from Luis and Monica.  I understand what you are doing there…we must be made aware of their efforts, but they cannot distract.  More important to me is Moises/Belen’s relationship and less on what they are doing.  A few other places in your story where townspeople were swimming to a new place on the stage was distracting.  I’d much rather see and experience their aloneness/their solitude/their beleaguerment.  People are wanting to be happy, but it’s hard.

OK, now to some practical issues.  Luis and Monica are playing their scenes too much profile which means their faces/mouths are not facing the audience.  Think about staging them on diagonals from each other.  And speaking of Monica, her passion was just not there yesterday…from the moment of the gifted washing machine to the grave illness of her baby.  Another practical issue..Belen’s appearance to Moises.  She was just too busy and Moises was not shocked, and I mean shocked and made uncertain, and made emotional by this visit from the grave.  (Visions of Ghosts of Christmas Past’s intruding visits to Ebeneezer Scrooge come to mind).

Also, of great concern were the flashbacks.  Is there something you can do to make those more clear?  The flashbacks MUST be Blue – they MUST have dripping water underneath them.  The only alternative is fog – we can’t afford the ice and I think the oil based fog would kill the kids and director who has asthma.  When DC had their oil based fog, I was choking and I know that Riley had a hard time.  I think Kate M has asthma.  That is an easy solution. I don’t know.  Like all of a sudden some force.some dynamic power…something wafts, and whirls, and whisks us back. Could the townspeople do this?

I really do not like your new ending.  It for me is generic—not unique to your story—an easy way to end this and a multitude of other one-act plays.  As for Moises, how in the world can a recluse who would not allow himself to look at a patient go from that to allowing himself ultimately to be placed on a pedestal and idolized?   Yes, I know Latin American Catholicism employs a grab bag of mystical and mythical idolization  but I am more interested in a still mourning Moises’ finding his own redemption.I agree with Lou on this – YET it must be dynamic.

OK.  Enough of this.  I’ve probably said more that I should, but your play was on my way the entire trip home from Amarillo.

I love you and your kids.    I want nothing more than the opportunity for this story to be shared with so many more on it journeys on.

PS.  I stayed and watched Canyon Randal’s phenomenal show, Leopold and Loeb.  IF you do an advancers clinic, Cy wants to come to Shallowater.  And, IF this happens, your kids MUST see this show!

Sent from my iPhone

THIS IS COUCH – RED INK IS TOO EXPENSIVE -NOW, in the judges’ critiques,

NUMBER ONE – Diction, - some lines were too similar in pacing

#2 some of the women’s voices were too shrill;

People who were harder to understand – Luis, Moises, Belen.

More moments on I lied – heavy guitar strum and a beat before I lied as well as a beat after on each one.

#3. Chorus needed to be crisper in movement.

Focus: I struggled today with focus and where to look.

I need a difference in real time and flashbacks. There needs to be clarity.

It was too busy at times with chorus.

There was not enough commitment to emotional context with everyone.

More vocal variety needed.

Moises and Belen need to work on layers and development

Eugenio and Moises work on layers of your relationship.

Never saw the abuse from Luis grow. It just happened.

Moments were rushed.

Next contest – Judges are – head judge who gives the acting awards. Kathy Love – Harvey – She is big on diction, but also focus.  She didn’t send Gut Girls on.

Lynae Jacob – she told this to everyone – be careful to keep the freshness and the first time feeling as you progress. Be careful about picking up each other’s rhythm or vocal patterns. This happens to groups who have been working together for too long.

Trip Langley – from California – I know nothing about him.  

March 17

Everyone	work on diction – bigger mouths Can the people on right stage bring all the water devices used throughout the show and put them by the washing machine at the end of the show?  Pitchers, buckets, etc. Scene – save some for me. Town does not enter CS.  They are across the back. The last scene the town is on stage is the hand prints on the door.  During this scene – those on the right side of the door – move URS to be on that side of the stage.  Those on the left side – exit left.  This may mean that others move Moises and Belen’s house. We will rehearse this. Stay in character Don’t say lines upstage. Work on emotion in lines. STEP ON LINES Don’t hit Breck. Find more emotion in lines.  Latin people are bigger than life. On stage, that should be bigger. DO NOT ANTICIPATE LINES.  Ask Kenna which actor did this.
Lights on stage	Light down more on Ramzi scene Blue lights fade up on Belen as the ghost person.
Lights booth	Amber first Monica scene.
Music	electricity
Town	During the Ramzi scene – your eyeballs are moving all over the place.  Keep them still or down. Women with scarves on head during crossing scene. Dancing – bigger and more enthusiastic.  Lines in sync with music. STEP ON LINES
Lights - both	Time lights at the beginning of the show. They must both begin at the same time – count off -1,2,3
Alamar	Diction and louder – do you think it’s funny Instructions – your responsibility Of daily battle – yearning happy
Eugenio	Don’t speak behind someone – you said except Moises behind Kate. What the war cost Moises – speak to the town. Navel line bigger about anyone would give their soul to heal.  THIS IS YOUR BREAKING POINT Thank goodness we have Moises – I am the light Bigger – as I lay my hand on the latch. Scared, embarrassed, disillusioned. Look at lines boils and shriveling and fizzling. Knocking scene – you are blocking Luis – Kenna was sitting where the right stage judge would be sitting.  It may not be fixable.
Monica and Luis	Enjoy each other more.  Laugh more – giggle more so that it is a stark contrast to the rest of the scenes. Do not throw the chair. Work on sexiness
Eugenio and Moises	Friendship was flat
Luis	Papers and tape are your responsibility HEAD UP – entitled Speak more to CS. Chismosa line was good. HEAD UP Do not throw the chair. Head up San Isidro?  More broken in this scene. You left us no choice – to the audience – all your lines are mainly profile here – so fix it.  Also, don’t slap so much.  It weakens your character. More downstage center – head up – I need your help.
Town and Belen	Work on this scene Monday – carve a path so that Belen can hold up hands bouncing from one to another – she doesn’t need to touch Eugenio.
Hannah	La plaza line - diction
Kate	Angry at the soldados – hand in a striking gesture Don’t put water back in the buckets.
Belen	Veil? Rehearse this scene tomorrow. Enter on sell for scrap. It’s been years – happy – you’ve forgotten everything that has happened. As a ghost, you are not confident enough.  You are not sad.  Remember your character is feisty. You are not sad
Stephen	Diction on exhausts me to watch. Don’t back up in the back.
Eli	People noises as Belen is shocked – mixed elation and curiosity when she says why – then DEVASTATED as they take her away – BIGGER ON WHY – a guttural cry. Head up – make him ask me. Watch higher register.  Be busy washing when Luis is yelling Don’t stoop over Luis when begging.
Monica	More upset about your daughter.   When you come home the last time, can you do stage business – packing- taking clothing off the line as  you are speaking to Luis – you are too upset to deal with him then crazy snot crying about being a dutiful soldier’s wife… Watch losing accent
Breck	Good job = hand on priest
Moises & Belen	Build relationship